Wednesday, August 12, 2020

I know it’s been forever since I made a blog, BUT on a real note.. life has been definitely been completely shitty for me and I take full responsibility of that. However, I never been the one to open up about my personal life on the internet BUT I feel it’s worth it to share even if it at least helps one person. 
First and foremost, DO NOT be like me. plan before you do, make decision carefully and not impulsively because that can get you in a serious bind and shit can get real ugly! now - what’s been up with me? 
At the start of 2020, I made some impulsive decisions that resulted in me battling with depression, anxiety, and financial issues. I honestly didn’t know how to control these type of issues all hitting me at once and that kinda caused me to panic and just lose all control of everything. My mind became dark and I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and that drove me crazy resulting in me losing myself. I lost vision of my passion, purpose, goals, confidence, more. And once you lose sight of that you just feel completely empty and worthless. It got so bad to the point I just didn’t care about anything at all. The devil completely got ahold of me and I just started to feel life won at that point.
Now, I typed that in past tense because I wanted to feel like I overcame those things and that part of my life but nope still fighting it to this day. I have better outlook on life but it’s definitely gonna take a lot for me to get back to me. This is just a start. And to anyone in the same position reading this, please push forward. Don’t let your pain take over you because ultimately that’s what I did and unfortunately it only made things harder for me. On the bright side, it reintroduced me to blogging. This was one of my first outlets that I felt I connected with that allowed me to express myself on a different level. So I figured why not revisit it while on this journey of getting back to myself. This post is just an overview on what I’m going through. I plan to get more in depth but for my sake and others sake names will be left out. :) that’s all I wanna say for this entry and expect more from me now. 
see ya soon. 💋